Isn’t every day a day unlike any other? When we live our lives in service to others, we can sometimes get stuck in ways that feel confusing to us. It can feel as though we’re walking on shifting sand, yet the reality is that many people depend on us and expect us to be the ones who are grounded. They look to us for support, encouragement, wisdom, and the reassurance that life will be okay.
There are days—perhaps today is one of them—when the reality of who we need to be for others is not aligned with what we are feeling internally. On these days, we can feel disconnected from ourselves, almost as though we are simply going through the motions. Others may tell us, “You’ve been so helpful,” or “I don’t know what I would have done without seeing (or speaking to) you.” Yet internally, something very different might be happening.
The last time I traveled, I made a point to really listen to what the flight attendant said about safety procedures in case of an emergency. It struck me how often we don’t think through what it means to be prepared. Emergencies are typically reactive, but the airline emphasizes—sometimes with humor—how critical it is to prepare ahead of time.
The devastation happening in Los Angeles (at the time of this writing) reminds me of getting on that airplane. Many people will look to us to be grounded, emotionally healthy, and present in their lives because they don’t know how to show up for themselves. In essence, we are the oxygen mask. And just as the flight attendant instructs, you must put on your own oxygen mask before helping others.
I ask you today: What is the oxygen mask you need for yourself? Is your family ready to evacuate before you take that session or call? If not, attend to that first. Or maybe you need to take a moment to recalibrate your own nervous system response to what is happening right now. If so, then take that breath. Drink some water. Reorient yourself so you can truly show up for others.
