It is a battle to keep families connected in our technological savvy culture. Too many kids are plugged-in to their electronics and plugged out of their relationships. Even as adults, we sometimes prefer our superficial relationships on Twitter and Facebook to deepening the ones living in our own homes.
One way we can build community within the 4 walls of our home is to have regular and intentional family meetings. How this looks for a family with younger kiddos is quite different from the family with older ones, however the premise is still the same.
In this post, we will define a Family meeting as a consistent family gathering where 3 key things are accomplished:
1. Discuss what’s on each person’s heart, in a no-blame, no criticizing environment. Discuss issues in loving way. The goal is to build family unity.
2. 5-10 min lesson on an important value or belief. This may be accomplished by reading a novel together or doing a family devotional.
3. End the meeting on a fun note. Play a game, go out for ice cream, a bike ride, etc. The point is to build memories. Our best memoris come from our most positive feelings.
Since the premise of the meetings is to build unity and community within the family, it’s important to remember to turn off all electronic devises during the meeting and simply focus on each person. It’s also key to remember that mistakes are great teachers-don’t seek perfection, seek authentic relationship and have a good time!!
If the idea of having a family meeting is new for you, here are a few tips to get you started:
1. Know how each person in your family connects best.
Specifically, what is each individual person in the family’s love language? Allow this to help guide the lesson/devotional and activity time. Don’t assume how you connect best is the same for each person in the family. Remember, the goal is to build family unity and discovering these aspects about the people in the family will allow you to reach and connect with them during the meeting. Realize, this is not a position of having to please everyone in the family as much as it is learning who each person is and developing ways for them to feel connected within the 4 walls of your community.
In the book, The Five Love Languages of Children by Dr. Gary Chapman, you will discover a quick and easy read packed full of information. At the end of the book is a nice little handy-dandy activity to do with your kiddos to help discover their primary love language. While this isn’t a solution for all, it can be a tool to help you, and your people learn more about each other.
2. Expect resistance from certain members of the family.
It’s foreign for us to expect that something new will be positive and feel good. We expect new to feel difficult and scary. Allow time for the family to get behind this idea. Maybe even bring them on board and discuss the reasons for starting these meetings and help them throw ideas for the activity in a bowl. There is a balance between allowing your kids to make all the decisions and giving them none at all. Working through this is a great process for the kids to feel included, valued and to trust the leadership of their parents.
3. Plan time to plan & prepare for distractions
Family meetings take time. In our hectic fast-food society, time is a scarce commodity. Set a date and block the time out of the calendar. Place a thick-walled boundary around this time where nothing can penetrate through its walls. Work, sports, neighbors, etc. can all wait, these moments in our families are short and fleeting. Protect them. Cherish them.
What do you do to build community in your family?
