This past fall I had the wonderful opportunity to sit with a dear friend that I have not spent much time with lately. She conveyed the exhaustion she was experiencing in her life and how that was starting to prevent her from being present in the lives of her family members, friends and co-workers. She spoke of needing to “get away” for a while and shared the plan she had for recharging herself. I found myself wishing, becoming jealous of her ability to self-care and plan a “get away”, a retreat.
I came to realize that depletion is a chronic condition that can plague every human alive. We can all become depleted and if we are not careful, we can (and maybe have) crossed the thin fine line into burnout or caregiver fatigue.
Do you know what it looks like to be depleted? Specifically, for yourself, can you identify when you are on the brink, the point of no return?
Ask yourself these questions to discover whether you are teetering into depletion (this list is not exhaustive and is general; recognizing depletion for each person is unique):
- Do you find yourself getting sick often when you normally wouldn’t?
- Are you constantly tired for no good and/or apparent reason?
- Do you find yourself lacking the desire to carry out tasks that used to be a piece of cake?
- Are you finding yourself short-tempered and unable to handle situations that are typically no big deal?
- How long has it been since you’ve had a soul-to-soul conversation with the safe people in your life?
- Have you been given a clean bill of health from you Doctor?
Overcoming Depletion
1. The first step in overcoming most things is to be able to recognize when it is occurring. The ability to internally recognize what depletion looks like will allow you to move into step 2.
2. Make a plan& Retreat. Retreating is a specific and intentional place and time for you to get to invest in yourself, it’s the EBB in ebb and flow, a solitary sanctuary for renewal, safe haven, snug den, safe refuge. This can be as extensive as taking a week or weekend to get away. Go hiking in the Smokey Mountains or canoeing in the UP of Michigan. It could be as simple as getting away to a B&B for some reading and relaxing. Maybe it’s a spa day or taking an hour each day for 1 month to get away and read your favorite book-no interruptions, no phone calls, no Facebook, no kids.
3. Nourish your body, soul and mind. Work out regularly, eat a balanced diet, be around those who fill you more and drain you less, connect with those friends and family that you will encourage and challenge you to be a better version of you, join a book club or a bible study, date your spouse, get to bed on time.
4. Recognize that these steps are going to feel awkward, uncomfortable, uneasy and that’s GOOD! That uncomfortable, awkward, uneasy feeling is the pain of growing a new skill. This is often described by athletes who train a new muscle when they say, “No Pain, No Gain”.
5. Dive into your faith. A life saturated into faith has healing properties that scientists are just starting to understand.
A life that is intentionally slowed, grounded in authenticity, and fully present is one that moves toward peace. In times of uncertainty—whether in leadership, family, or everyday life—what we bring to those around us matters deeply. When we are spiritually and emotionally full, centered, and connected to God, we offer a steady presence that others can draw strength from.
How do you renew and replenish when you feel depleted?
